Palmer's Point   Mark Palmer, Elementary Principal

can attract the wrong kind of friends (Proverbs 19:4). 
I know of instances when parents have thrown a big bash to help their child gain acceptance in a group.  This is the wrong way to go about building proper relationships and will attract detrimental friends with
superficial values.  There are several good examples
of friendships in the Bible that teach proper behavior.  Jonathan and David (I Samuel 20), and Daniel and his three friends (Daniel 1, 2) both make good studies.   

There are some friendships that need to be encouraged by us.  One is your child's relationship with Jesus Christ.  Jesus calls us His friend if we do what he
commands us (John 15:24).  To strengthen this relationship would be a call to right behavior.  If a young person has to choose between growing in Christ and having friends, then those "friends" are not the right ones to have.  The Bible warns us that if we are
a friend of the world then we are the enemy of God (James 4:4).   

Being a proper friend is doing what is right in a
relationship with another person.  Friendship brings obligations.  Everything Paul did was for the purpose of strengthening his friends (II Corinthians 12:19). 
A good friend is someone who will encourage us to
do right, not someone who will protect us from being caught (II Corinthians 12:19).
 
We also need to be engaged in activities of service that go beyond friendship.  If we spend all of our free time with family and friends, we are leaving out areas of ministry that should be a part of our lives as Christians.  In Luke 14:12 Jesus said that when we give a meal we should go beyond our family and friends and invite the needy into our homes.  How many of us are practicing this? Maybe this is why our young people have
problems with cliques.  This may be the only clear
example that they see in us as adults.  Are we keeping ourselves in our own group of comfortable friends? 

Let's teach our children how to make and be good friends.  Let's also practice friendly behavior toward those in need.  We may just make a new friend that we will enjoy in eternity. 

A major area of concern that I see in many families at Bracken is the friendships that their children have or will develop.  Many of the families here have the same or similar values.  This leads to many positive
relationships.  You as parents are no doubt comforted when your child has a friend whose family you know and appreciate.  But even under the best of circum-stances some negative relationships can develop.  There may be a friendship that brings one or more children down or causes conflicts. A common
occurrence is the forming of cliques that work to       exclude or limit the fellowship of others.  Often in
an attempt to have or gain a good friend, which is a
worthy endeavor, a child may work to hurt or drive away those who are viewed as threatening their
friendship.  I would like to take a few minutes to look to what the Bible says about friends and friendships.  Hopefully this will help guide us as we seek to help our children grow in this area.

The word friend is used many times in the Bible as a greeting or an appeal to reasonable behavior.  It can
refer to someone who is an acquaintance, neighbor or countryman.  Paul often addressed his fellow-laborers and the churches as friends.  Jesus addressed his
followers as friends and used the term in several
parables.  He himself was called a friend to tax
collectors and sinners (John 11:11).  This shows us a clear example of friendly behavior toward those who are in need of God's love.  This usage of 'friend' refers to courteous and friendly behavior that should be our normal behavior when seeing and meeting people.   

In Scripture there seems to be a distinction between
being a friend toward others (being friendly) and
having a close relationship or friendship with
someone.  These relationships can be either beneficial or detrimental.  There are many principles in the Bible that need to be considered when making friendships so that proper relationships are produced.  A righteous man is cautious in friendship (Proverbs. 12:26).  This seems to go against the notion of friends being for the sole purpose of having a good time.  Friends will influence us in what we believe and practice (Deuteronomy 13:6), so it is important that our friends have right and biblical values.  Friends also influence character.  We are warned not to make friends with a hot-tempered man, lest we learn his ways (Proverbs 22:24).  Wealth

November 2001                                                                                                                  Bracken Christian School  BrackenNotes   5